Tired

Today's post is just an expression of what is there for me - what is in my conscious mind and my dominant thoughts recently and this morning. To start off with a chuckle, I went to bed last night at about 1:30 am and woke up at 5 am without the help of an alarm. However, last night, I shut the door to my bedroom when I went to sleep. So, at 5 am, I got up to go to the bathroom and walked square into the door to my room. I bumped my forehead, but worse yet, I scraped up my left hand which was exactly at the same level as the door handle. So, the top of my left hand is seriously scraped and bruised right now. Funny, right?

I started this blog in January with the express purpose of helping Western men to avoid the pitfalls and difficult situations that present themselves when they come here to Ukraine or Russia looking for a Ukrainian or Russian bride or partner. In the meantime, I have written a full length book, created multiple websites, learned about SEO, and helped numerous men to find dates, find apartments here, and solve inherent problems that others in my life have had when visiting <a href="http://loveukr.com/odessa-ukraine/">Odessa Ukraine</a>.

I have also continued to teach full time. When my teaching finishes for the day, I proceed home to work on my websites, my blogs, or continue to study the myriad of information I need to know in order to take care of websites and move them up the Google ranking system. When I am not doing those things I have been spending time with the foreigners who visit Odessa because that type of attention to clients is what makes clients loyal to you. I do not regret any of it. Finally, there have been and continue to be little speed bumps which delay me, my businesses, or my website from moving forward. I feel like I spend quite a bit of my time putting out fires or learning how to deal with problems that I did not create.

However, I have not taken any time for myself. I need a break. In three and a half years at my current school, there have been only three Saturdays that I haven't worked. I went to Krakow Poland twice since I've been here for 5 days once and 1 week the second time. While I had fun in Krakow, I can tell you that there were many problems during or after each of those trips. At the end of the first trip, I got stuck in Krakow without any money and was not aloud to get on the return flight from Krakow to Kiev. The day after the second trip, my girlfriend at the time decided to break up with me.

Overall, I am aware that I have so much to be grateful for. My life is moving in a forward direction. However, I am tired. I am truly tired. I just want to lie down and rest for a few days. I want to have nothing to think about, no problems to solve, no people to deal with, and nothing to do.

More Trouble in Odessa

Night before last, I was just talking to my buddy on my patio drinking a healthy smoothie with fresh strawberries, bananas, and chocolate protein blended with ice when BLAM! The glass broke. In fact, a portion of the glass fell out of the bottom and my friend described it as if the glass had been shot by a sniper. 

Smoothie everywhere, and the bottom fell, twisted, and sliced the top of my left foot. If you have ever been cut on the top of your hand or on the top of your foot, you know that the skin is so thin that it does not stop bleeding and the cut can re-open easily. I knew I needed stitches, so while I was trying to keep my head in a panic situation, I was trying to call someone with a car to come take me to the hospital. I made a couple of phone calls and after three declines, decided to have a friend meet me there. My new roommate grabbed my things and money, and I hobbled to the street corner to take a taxi. I told the driver in Russian where I needed to go, and he took us there. 

Once there, we didn't have to wait long because my Russian friend was already there to communicate that I had a bad cut and needed stitches. Luckily, they weren't very busy. I went to Into-Sana which is the most expensive hospital here. When I broke my leg three years ago, had kidney stones last year, and back troubles this year, I didn't go to Into-Sana because of the price. But, this time, that was the only thought going through my head. 

Once there, I saw that it hadn't bled too bad. However, the slice was deep and the wound wide. Of course, if you have ever had stitches, the worst part is when they insert the needle into your wound to anesthetize the area. They sewed it up with only two stitches, and then let me go home. i went and met a couple of friends who lived in the area which is always great. It is humbling to see all of the people who are ready to come and help. That community is what I am most grateful for. I had a pizza and a couple of beers to go with my anesthesia. 

Of course, I live in Odessa, Ukraine, so the water was out when we got home and I couldn't take a shower that night or in the morning. The next morning, which was yesterday, I had to go to the hospital before going to work. So, I was up at 6 after not being able to go to sleep until about 1am. The fact is that once the anesthesia wore off, I felt like I had been beaten ad kicked by about six guys. So, sleep was welcome. Waking up yesterday was not. 

When i got there, I had to wait more than an hour, which made me worry because I told my boss that I was going to be at work. Of course, I could have called off, but that is just not my style, and I also want the money to help promote my website and business. Finally, they lead me into the little operating theater and remove my bandage. Everything looks fine. However, when they went to wrap it up, they just put a bandage and a small piece of sticky tape over it. I know that that is going to come off. I have had too many cuts on top of my hands and feet. I am a ballplayer and an athlete, I understand that in this situation we need a figure 8 wrap in order to keep everything in place. So, when I asked the 20 year old intern to wrap it in a figure 8, he didn't understand. Then, he just wanted to put flimsy gauze over it. WE ALL KNOW GAUZE DOESN'T STAY TOGETHER IN A SHOE!!! So, i go so frustrated. I just wanted some athletic tape and I'll wrap i myself. I've had my ankles wrapped hundreds of times in my life and I've done it myself a couple of hundred times too. But, alas, no athletic tape and no understanding of what the hell I wanted!!!!

I was so frustrated!!! When it come to medical care, I cannot stand this place. I decided walked to the bus stop, cursing the whole time to get all of my frustration out, that when my book was successful, I would figure out a way to do some kind of exchange program for doctors, nurses, interns, and other hospital staff to do some kind of exchange in America so that they can learn different ways to do things. I don't believe that western medicine is the end all be all. I actually lean toward a more wholistic approach, but simple things like this drive me crazy!!! 

When I broke my leg, they used gypsum!!! That freakin' thing weighed about 15 pounds! that's about 7 kg for those in Europe reading my blog. What about a fiberglass cast or just a pain plaster cast so it doesn't break. I had to replace that piece of shit every two weeks for over 5 months because it kept breaking! Oh, how about non-stick gauze bandages which cost about 1 penny to make??? No where to be found here. 

Hence, I was frustrated until about lunchtime yesterday!!!

Things are looking better this morning though. 

Russian Girls and Ukrainian Girls

Millions of men search for, hunt for, google, and travel to meet Russian and Ukrainian girls every year. I have searched the statistics and the monthly number of searches is over 4,000,000

I have written a book, designed a website, and am in the process of creating a couple of other websites with the express purpose of bringing a little integrity to an industry that lacks integrity.

Most men who come here to Russia or Ukraine to find a girl don't have an unlimited amount of money to spend on this endeavor. It pains me when I see the level of deceit that is occurring daily. That is what I want to try to stop. Dating agencies, marriage agencies, translators, girls, and men in this industry have set up every possible means to deceive Western men and sold Western men a lie that all Ukrainian girls are dying to leave their homeland all with the intention to get into their wallet. Not all Russian and Ukrainian girls are dying to leave their homeland.

I have seen countless Western men lose their entire life savings trying to find a needle in a haystack - having been misled and deceived by websites. There are many wonderful Ukrainian girls here. However, those girls are not usually on these sites. My goal is to educate those men to help prevent them from being taken to the cleaners, and to help them succeed in their quest. If you are open to hearing the whole truth, or of you are wanting to help in some way, please feel free to follow the link to my website, or contact me.

Thanks for being willing to read this.

Vincent

http://loveukr.com/

Western Men Frustrate Me!!!

I was walking to my friend's house in the city center last night and I passed by a guy walking next to a girl. He was speaking English, so I stopped him with the intention of giving him my card and possibly offering to help him NOT TO make the same mistakes that so many others make. .

He resisted my advance and my card, and told me that he didn't need any help. The rejection in and of itself is not that big of a deal. I am not a little kid. My feelings do not get hurt that easily. However, it was his body language.

His shoulders perked backward, he stood up straighter, turned his body at an angle, and backed away as if he had just been approached by a diseased lepper. So, the subconscious, non-verbal message he was sending to me was that he already knew everything he needed to know, and the possibility didn't even exist that I could possibly offer him anything of value. So, in fact, he was sending me the message that my information was worthless and that I was worthless. The guy looked like Rick Moranis!, Short, weak, with glasses, etc.

I wanted to yell at him, MY BLOG IS FREE YOU IDIOT!!! I AM NOT TRYING TO TAKE FROM YOU LIKE SO MANY OTHER!!! I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU!!! STOP BEING AN ARROGANT PRICK AND REALIZE THAT I AM NOT ASKING YOU FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN TO OPEN YOUR EYES AND TO OPEN YOUR MIND SO AS TO SAVE YOU A LOT OF TIME, EFFORT, ENERGY, AND MONEY IN ORDER TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS!!!

I challenge you as a reader to look into your own life. Is there anywhere where you think you already know all of the answers? Is there anywhere in your life where you have not looked at a problem or situation with an open mind and an open heart, seeking a new point of view???

Ukrainian Girls Show Up

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Understanding the cultural differences

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Russian Wedding

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Political Correctness

I taught a new class today that almost had me fall out of my chair with both laughter as well as anger. The title of the class was the same as this point, "Political Correctness". The class had 6 Ukrainian girls in it. The youngest Ukrainian girl was 17, 3 Ukrainian girls in the 23-25 year old range, one about 40, and another in her late 40s. Needless to say, this was a very interesting class.

I started the class by saying that I have recently become aware that it is probably going to be very difficult for me to ever live full-time in the United States again. Why, you ask? Well, I wrote my answer on the white board. I said, "I don't think that I'd be able to hold a job for very long in the United States without getting fired for political incorrectness. I am the opposite of politically correct!"

I said, "Let me give you a perfect example." I gave one example after the other of how my country's values and beliefs on this topic have just gone too far. Originally, the intention was completely positive. I have a friend that works for one of the largest shipping companies in the world, and less than a year ago, he complimented his boss (a 40ish female who had lost about 35 pounds since he had seen her last. 35 pounds is about 16 kilograms). He said to her, "Congrats Sally on losing that weight! You look great!!!"

He was immediately pulled into the nearest office by the human resources rep for his company and reprimanded. He was told if he ever did that again, he would be written up for sexual harassment.

I asked the 6 Ukrainian girls if they liked it when a guy told them that they were good looking, attractive, or complimented them on their looks or clothing, etc. One girl gave a very poignant response, saying, "I think it depends on the guy offering the compliment." However, of the 6 Ukrainian girls in my class, 4 and a half answered "yes! I enjoy being complimented by a man"

We talked about sometimes, how a girl just wants to work, or exercise, or do whatever she is doing without having to deal with the hassle of being complimented, or having to fend off men who might be hitting on her. However, I commented that I felt the percentage might actually be exactly the opposite in my home culture. I think that 4.5 out of 6 prefer to not have you compliment them.

Now, to the funny stuff. There was one exercise in which the students needed to match the common, or more well known politically INcorrect term with the new politically correct term. This is where things started to just get stupid and make me realize that I live in the perfect place for my present mentality. I like being able to give a couple of second gaze at a pretty Ukrainian girl, her body, or even look her in the eye without having to feel ashamed or guilty about it like I felt in America.

Of course, the original intentions of feminists, politicians, and the media was and is positive. I get that. I even referenced a late 70s or early 80s movie with Farah Faucet called The Burning Bed. Good for her!!! If you aren't familiar with it, I suggest you look it up on IMDB.

Now, let's enjoy some of the goofiness of being American.

A fireman must now be called a firefighter? - no big deal
A businessman now must be called a business person? - ok.
A cameraman must be called a camera operator? - really?
An autistic child must be referred to as a child with autism? - Does that autistic child really understand the difference between those two terms?
A Third World Country is no longer a Third World Country, it must be referred to as the Global South? - GTF outta here!!! Really??? Who gives a sh@#???
An Eskimo must now be  called a person from the Global North? C'mon!!! You've gotta be sh*#@ing me!!!
A fat person (present company included) must now be referred to as Big Boned or Differently Sized???
Ha! Ha! I am just fat! There is no doubt about it! I have an eating disorder! And, 85% of the girls in this culture do not even see me as fat even though I am 6'0" (181cm) tall and 240 pounds (about 111 kg)
If you are fat, then you are fat!!! If you have an eating disorder, then you overeat! So be it!!! Why do I have to refer to myself as big boned???? Comical!!!
A blind person is a person with a visual impairment. That person cannot even see you call him/her blind anyway!! What does it matter?
A deaf person is a person must be referred to as a person with an aural impairment? Whatever! He/she can't hear me say that he/she is deaf anyway!!!
How about this one? An unemployed person wants to be referred to as unwaged??? Are you freakin' serious? You're out of work!!! Period!!! We've all been there and experienced that.
Why does my culture have to make things so freakin' difficult????

This is the best one though. There is a social condition that we previously called poor, and in my country, I am not supposed to say someone is poor, I am supposed to say that they are economically disadvantaged!!!!
Bit@**!!! If you are too lazy to work, and to stupid to pick up a book and learn something, THEN YOU ARE POOR!!!! BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!!! YOU ARE OUT OF WORK, POOR, AND HOPELESS BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO F'N LAZY TO PICK UP A BOOK AND CHANGE SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!

I live in the perfect country. As I get older, I think that I get less tolerant in having people around me that don't want to improve themselves in some way. That is why I think that I found the perfect job and the perfect school. Our school is one of the more expensive schools in Odessa, so, people who are intermediate level of English or higher, and coming to our school to improve are exactly that!!! They are serious about improving themselves and their lives. That is why I love them!!!

That is also why the best place to meet Ukrainian girls is not on a marriage or dating website, I believe it is in speaking clubs, speaking groups, or at English schools. I stopped dating Ukrainian girls from my school about 7 months ago, but if there was one Ukrainian girl that jumped out at me, I wouldn't hesitate to try to ask her on a date. Please don't tell my boss though. )))

Ukrainian Girls' Mothers

Well, the girl I spoke about yesterday left here and proceeded to send me a message that her mother criticized her English. In fact, the translation was telling her daughter that her English was awful.

I just wanted to talk about the behavior aspect of this action - the criticism of her daughter's English.

In case, the mother has never studied English at all. In fact, she has never studied any language, she only speaks Russian and Ukrainian which are both learned naturally by growing up here in Ukraine.

What is the mother trying to accomplish with this statement? Of course, all statements of motivation and thought pattern come solely from the subconscious mind or unconscious awareness. A person who behaves in this way is generally not aware of the level of thought or consideration I am attempting to bring to this specific conversation. My goal is to allow my readers to see a new point of view, and perhaps to even inspire someone to look at conversations that have occurred in their own life from a similar point of view, but with a new perspective.

From a solely behavioral aspect, I contend that the mother's motivation is to de-value her daughter by criticizing her level of English. Why would she want to do that???

Well, as a child, we encounter many situations within which we naturally feel de-valued ourselves. Parents put us down, criticize us, or just don't let us participate in grown-up conversations. Big brothers or sisters, friends, or people at school do the same. hey reject us, tell us we can't play with them, we can't do what they are doing. All of the biggest events occur prior to the age of 7. We carry these feelings of rejection or 'less value' with us subconsciously. Hence, most of us naturally don't feel as valuable as the adults or other kids around us.

When someone disagrees with us, we develop a natural behavior of becoming overly emotional just like  baby who is being denied food or a very young child (less than 3 years old - sometimes older) who is being denied some toy or object. Man of us don't ever develop any other way to communicate when we are angry or upset.

One of the things I've noticed over my three plus years in Odessa is that people here do not hide their emotions at all. In fact, many people raise their voice regularly in an effort to try to communicate. Or, perhaps I should re-phrase that. Many people raise their voice in an effort to try to be heard. When a person doesn't feel heard or doesn't feel listened to, then they inherently attempt to change their communication in order to be heard. Speaking much, much louder and with strong emotion and energy is the most common means due to the fact that this worked for us when we were small children and we wanted something. If we made too much noise, our parents usually gave-in and gave us whatever we wanted in order to shut us up! As a result, we instinctively continue to use this same type of communication in our closest adult relationships in an effort to be heard.

Let me get back to the students. I have been teaching English for more than 4 years now, and have probably taught more than 1700 students, and I can promise you that this girl is one of the best students I have encountered. She works hard, she studies with a seeking mind, searching for ways to improve, to learn, to practice, and to remember. She reads, writes, listens, understands, and speaks quite well (even though she thinks that she cannot speak). She makes small mistakes, but her English is improving so fast that she makes me feel 'not so smart'.

Hes mother ripped her English only to make her own ego feel better. If I put her down, then I can feel better about my own inadequacies for a moment. It is actually basic psychology.

The fact that all people haven't learned this yet just tells you of the level of learning and awareness about behavior that does not exist in this country yet. If you want your relationship with Ukrainian girls to be good and run smoothly, you are probably going to have to learn how to deal with this type of outburst and these types of insulting, critical comments.

My strategy is pretty simple. A girl who deals with her problems by criticizing me, is not really welcome in my life unless she is open to reading, learning, opening her mind to a new point of view and a new way of dealing with her problems instead of just blowing up like an emotional time bomb and trying to de-value me through insults.

If you come across a Ukrainian girl who blows up like this, hopefully you have thought about my words and this aspect of female behavior and are ready with a set strategy. I know that I hate this type of confrontation and feel that it does not solve any problems. I try to make my life about solving problems, not helping them to escalate.

This is an apology to any girl that wants me to yell back at her or blow up at her so that she knows that I care. Sorry because I do not feel that blowing up at you will help matters at all. I prefer to listen to your point of view and then ind a solution. That is all. Perhaps it will be difficult for me to find a Ukrainian girl who is open to my point of view, but I only need one to be successful. My heart tells me that there is at least one Ukrainian girl here that fits me. And, to the mother of this wonderful girl, --- too bad you have no idea just how wonderful your daughter really is. If you opened your eyes, you'd actually realize that she is everything you had ever hoped for and much, much more!!!

Ukrainian Girls - Really??

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Ukrainian Girls - American Guys

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Ukraine Marriage Relationship

I just went to pick up some Chinese food for dinner, and I wanted to share with you what I saw. You say you want to find a wife? This might help give you some ammunition to deal with a relationship with a Ukrainian girl when you do finally come here to find a wife. (I assure you that the Chinese food I just bought is nothing like what you might find in America.)

I was sitting on a chair just outside this little Chinese place waiting for my food. Across the street is a place called "The Book Market". It is an outdoor market where they sell mostly books and media such as films, electronics, etc. Of course, since it is Sunday late afternoon, it is closed. However, I looked across the street and this guy is walking up to a Ukrainian girl and yelling at her as she is walking. You say you want to find a wife? I quickly assessed that he knew this Ukrainian girl, and in fact, this was his significant other, his wife, his girlfriend, his fiance'.

His shoulders tilted back, his chest came out, his forehead tilted upward, and he was yelling at her, trying to exert his non-verbal authority. He really looked like a 9 year old on the play-ground trying to show another 9 year old that he was the strongest and the toughest. You say you really want to find a wife?

The Ukrainian girl did not back down at all of course and was obviously doing what Ukrainian girls in an argument do, raising her head, trying to be louder and more authoritative than her opponent. They yelled at each other for a couple of minutes, and then the guy stormed off to his beater $500 car parked next to the curb. He starts the car and presses on the gas for a long, long time. Of course, the car is roaring really loud, and out of the back is billowing black smoke because this car obviously has bad rings in the pistons and needs to have the engine repaired, but of course, this wonderful, functional family cannot afford such a repair.  You say you want to find a wife? Poor in mind, poor in spirit, poor in relationship, poor in wallet. Is it possible that it is all related??? You say you want to find a wife?

These people looked like a teenage brother and sister combination that hated each other. You say you want to find a wife? The only reason they had a relationship with each other was because they were related. This couple needs to be studied in my opinion. They need to be a study of WHAT NOT TO DO!!!

I was thinking about where this type of outburst happens in America. This type of outburst usually happens in the poor and/or dangerous neighborhoods and on an episode of Cops on tv. What does that tell you??? You say you want to find a wife?

I don't really and never have really spent that much time in those type of neighborhoods in America. But, in a middle class or upper middle class, or even in an affluent area in Southern California, people just discuss their problems. They don't feel the need to explode like a 9 year old child in order to try to express themselves. You say you want to find a wife?

Perhaps I am being too critical. But, I think that the incidence of this happening with your girl in Ukraine is higher than it is in America. I know that generally, I have spoken about girls taking over the role of the man in many American relationships, but the reality is that educated people, people who are interested in improving themselves usually don't need to communicate with their loved one this way. I think it is possible to just say that you have something you want to talk about, and then sit down and talk about it.

However, I know that for many girls in the Ukrainian culture, I am being unrealistic because this is the only way that they know how to communicate when they are upset. They yell, scream, cry, and of course, they criticize like the girl that stayed over my house the last two days. You say you want to find a wife?

I have stressed that many people are not aware of how their actions or words land in someone else's world. So, when I just listen attentively to an upset girlfriend, why isn't that enough??? Well, as I mentioned in my book, many Ukrainian girls want to know that you care enough to fight for them, so in the future, I will definitely break some plates in the kitchen and then storm out, hoping that this is enough to show my future Ukrainian girl that I love her and care enough about her to fight for her. )))

You say you want to find a wife 

Ukrainian Girls Visitor Day 2

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Ukrainian Girls???

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There is a girl

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Strange Ukrainian People

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A Married Ukrainain girl likes you?

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Ukrainian Girls

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Today's search

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Blowing off a little steam.

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Moldovan Girls - Going a little crazy

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Yuzhny Ukraine Yesterday

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Just a little humor for you )))

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Again

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You'll never guess what I found out

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Very Interesting Date This Evening

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Other Man

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So much to share, so little time

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Interesting Encounter

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Oh My Lord - боже!!!

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Ukraine France Euro 2012 game in Donetsk

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Linkin Park

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Ukraine Wins!!!

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No More Drama

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Drama with a Ukranian Girl

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Look What I Found - A New Friend

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Saturday Night Mafia

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May First Holiday Recap

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May First Ukraine

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The Craziest Date Ukrainian Girl

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Young Ukrainian Girl - EXTREMELY!!!

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Big Weekend Coming Up - Odessa Ukraine

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3 Weeks - Guide to Russian & Ukrainian Brides

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New Ukrainian Girl - Posolik Kotoskogo Girl

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Last Ten Days - Russian Language

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Twist with a Ukrainian girl

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Happy Monday - Russian Ladies, Ukrainian Girls

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Very Interesting Developments with a Ukrainian Girl

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More New Developments

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Last Night's Birthday Party

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My Birthday in Ukraine

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No Work in Ukraina

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Explosion in Ukraine

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Spring is in the Air

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First Day of Spring

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Got a girlfriend?

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Inspiring girl

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New Ukrainian Girl but Relaxed Saturday Date

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Back & Ukrainian Girl Friends

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Day After Valentine's Day

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Coming Up - Valentine's Day

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Here We Go! Ride 'em cowgirl!!!

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Russian Girl Date

New Developments - Which Russian Girl Should I Choose?

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Brrrrr!!!!! Ukraine Weather

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Recap

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Last Couple of Days

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Being a Man

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Dilemma

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Weekend in Review

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Uneventful

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Sick in Ukraine

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Frustrated

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Another date

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Trip to Izmail

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Taxi Drivers Beware

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New Adventure

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Love in Ukraine

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