Love in Ukraine

I'm home after an extremely long day, it is almost midnight, and I just turned on a movie I haven't seen in many years. I've seen it twice, and it was sentimental for me both times. The name of the movie is "For the Love of the Game" starring Kevin Costner. I realize that through everything, I think I love the game of baseball more than anything else in the world. There is something special about the game that just cannot be put into words.

In the last 35 years, the game has changed, and especially in the last 17 years since the second baseball strike. However, watching the movie, I am reminded of walking out onto the manicured grass, the smell of the grass, looking up into the stands, taking batting practice, taking infield practice before the game. Let's go backward from there. Left pant leg first, then right. T-shirt underneath my jersey. Tucking my jersey into my pants. Slipping on those spikes, following your own little superstitions, left sock first, then right. Left shoe first, then right. Finally, tying those laces on my high top spikes, and then leaning over into my baseball bag to pull out my batting gloves, my baseball glove, and my bat. Putting on my cap, and hitting the field. Man, what an amazing experience, I loved every minute of it.

The game itself is even better. From the handing of the lineup card to the umpire before the game, to taking infield, to the fist pitch, even that was insanely enjoyable for me. The game itself is almost anti-climatic. No, it's not. Each and every pitch is a battle between the pitcher and catcher as a team, and the hitter. And, of course, if you are on defense, you have got to pay attention. Positioning is the key. Being alert and expecting the ball to come to you each and every pitch, even though you will be lucky to get more than about 4 balls hit to you over the course of the three hours it usually takes to play this great game.

The past three days, I have been taking care of an American guy who got his ass kicked. And, when I say kicked, he was beaten and left for dead, all because he came to Ukraine, searching for love in Ukraine. The guy is an insanely nice guy, but non-confrontational. There was a girl who was money hungry, but he didn't care since he wanted a nice, young, thin, pretty

Feeling Blue in Odeessa

I've been working on my book and blog and website, and Google ranking for the better part of 10 months now, and I have been trapped in what I would call "limbo" for the better part of the past two months. I have a wonderfully generous friend who has helped me design my website in order to make it Google friendly, but he won't help me do the last little bit I need to do in order to get my website to the number one position.

I could move back into a cheap apartment in Cheriomoshki or Tairovo and use the extra money I save on SEO, but that doesn't make sense since I can have private clients in my nice flat, and my flat is centrally located, and my clientele of private clients as well as foreigners stay in the center. So, the money I save will not be nearly as much as you think it is because of time, effort, energy, taxi's and restaurants I would spend that saved money on travel expenses or lose it becaue of missed opportunity if I lived in a less expensive flat. 

Also, my mental well-being would be affected as well. I hated living in a shoe box in Cheriomoshki for two and a half years. Cheriomoshki is a neighborhood of Odessa Ukraine. \

I thought this whole ordeal, and every event was me looking for, or helping others look for, find, and keep their own Ukrainian girl, but the reality is that this whole ordeal is about me creating a life I love, and in this moment in time, I do not love my life.

The last two days, my left arm and leg have been numb. This really makes me nervous as I am aware of the myriad of back problems I have. The nerve running down my spine is compressed and if this compression beomces words it is very possible that I could become paralized in the near future. I thought I had a few years before I would have to be leary of paralysis, but the reality is that this end result might come much sooner and I am depressed about all of this. What woman would want to marry me if I become paralized?

I cannot imagine being stuck in Ukraine without money, and not being able to move.

I know that I have so many things to be grateful for, but those things are easily forgotten when I have so many other things weighing on my mind.